Earlier, after a failure, I would wait for confession to get back to God’s presence. But now through TAPPING I am able to get back to God’s presence on the same day before going to bed.

Praise God!
Hope you all are doing well.

I just wanted to share how things have been going for me with meditation and spiritual fencing.

During Vox Divini First Voyage (TAPPING Season 1), I was very confused and was not able to fully  understand what Fr. Jerry was talking about, especially regarding Vox Divini Meditation and the four stages. Honestly, I was in a “lost” stage. Even during the break, I told Fr. Jerry, “Father, I think you made a mistake by selecting me for this retreat. This is not my level. This is not for me. You picked the wrong person this time.” I was genuinely struggling to understand what he was saying about meditation.

That doesn’t mean I now know everything. What I meant is, if we put in some effort, the Holy Spirit will take care of the rest. And that’s something I started experiencing after the retreat.

After the retreat, everyone started doing meditation. I had this desire to give it a try, even though I felt like I couldn’t do it. But I began reading again and again the examples of meditation that Fr. shared in the group. Then I prayed, picked a verse, and started meditating and it actually went really well. The way I read the Bible started to change. The more I meditated, the more insights I began to receive.

For the first few meditations, I was happy with the insights I was getting. We’ve read these verses so many times before, but never realized that each word carries such deep meaning. But now, I feel the responses are the most imp. part of meditation. Getting insights is great, but when we start applying those qualities to our lives, our way of thinking, our behavior, everything begins to change.

One thing I’ve noticed is that when I focus on the response, I started seeing areas where I was lacking, small, broken parts in my relationships with others that I never paid attention to before. These may not be sinful areas. And when I start identifying those areas and try to bring in the qualities of Jesus, it becomes something truly beautiful.

Another part is spiritual fencing and TAPPING. For me, washing with the precious blood is my favorite part of TAPPING. Since I started doing it, I’ve got a special love for the precious Blood of Jesus, just like the reverence and love we have for the Eucharist. All the burdens, all the guilt from sin , they begin to vanish when I do TAPPING. I don’t feel anything physically or emotionally, but the relief after washing everything with the precious Blood of Jesus is indescribable.

This doesn’t mean I’m doing everything perfectly or regularly. I fall. Sometimes I’m not able to do my fencing. Sometimes I feel weak and low. But even during those times, I have this desire, to go back to meditation and TAPPING.

The biggest change I’ve noticed after starting meditation and TAPPING is that I’ve become more conscious of my identity and relationship with God. Before the retreat, I was struggling myself to be in God awareness, but now, it happens naturally, the aware about God. Earlier, after a failure, I would wait for confession to get back to God’s presence. But now through TAPPING I am able to get back to God’s presence on the same day before going to bed.

So, if any of you are struggling to get started, just give it a try. The rest, God will take care of.