Are you wondering about the path God has planned for your life? Do doubts or questions linger in your heart about where you’re called to love and serve? This article invites you to explore the beauty of vocational discernment within the Catholic Church, guiding you through the three states of life—consecrated, married, and single—with a reflective questionnaire to spark prayerful insights into your unique calling.
In the heart of every baptized Catholic lies a profound call from God to holiness, a universal invitation to love Him above all and to serve His Kingdom. This call manifests uniquely in each person’s life through vocational discernment—a prayerful process of seeking God’s will amid the joys and challenges of existence. As taught by the Church, discernment is not merely a choice but a response to divine grace, guiding us toward the path where we can most fully live out our baptismal promises. The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us that “all Christians in whatever state or walk of life are called to the fullness of Christian life and to the perfection of charity” (CCC 2013). Within this framework, the Church recognizes three primary states of life: consecrated life, married life, and single life. Each is a genuine vocation, a sacred way to image Christ’s love, and each demands discernment to uncover how God invites us to participate in His redemptive work.
These states are not hierarchical but complementary, reflecting the diverse ways the Holy Spirit builds up the Body of Christ. Discernment involves prayer, reflection on Scripture, sacramental life, and counsel from spiritual directors or trusted mentors. It requires openness to God’s surprises, as He often reveals His plan gradually through our desires, talents, and circumstances. Why discern? Because each state is a vocation—a call from God to holiness and service. Ignoring this leads to unrest, while embracing it brings peace and fruitfulness. Let us explore each state in light of Catholic teaching, understanding their essence, purpose, and why they demand careful discernment.
Consecrated Life: A Total Gift to God and the Church
Consecrated life encompasses those who, moved by the Holy Spirit, dedicate themselves entirely to God through vows or promises of poverty, chastity, and obedience. This state includes priests, religious brothers and sisters, hermits, consecrated virgins, and members of secular institutes or societies of apostolic life. As the Catechism explains, “The state of consecrated life is thus one way of experiencing a ‘more intimate’ consecration, rooted in Baptism and dedicated totally to God” (CCC 916). It is characterized by a public profession of the evangelical counsels, making visible Christ’s own life of poverty, chastity, and obedience.
Why is consecrated life a vocation? It is a direct response to Christ’s invitation: “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor… then come, follow me” (Mt 19:21). Those called to this state forsake personal possessions, marital intimacy, and self-will to imitate Christ more closely, serving the Church through prayer, apostolate, or contemplation. It signifies the Kingdom of Heaven, where all will be united to God alone, and acts as a prophetic witness in a world often distracted by materialism and individualism. Priests, for instance, are configured to Christ the Head through Holy Orders, offering sacraments and shepherding souls. Religious, bound by community life, embody fraternal charity, while hermits and consecrated virgins highlight solitude and mystical union with Christ.
Discernment is crucial because consecrated life requires radical detachment and commitment. One must prayerfully examine desires for deeper union with God, attraction to community or solitude, and a longing to serve the Church exclusively. Without discernment, one risks entering unprepared, but through it, consecrated persons find joy in total self-gift, building up the Church as leaven in the world.
Married Life: An Image of Christ’s Love for the Church
Married life is the vocation where a man and a woman, through the Sacrament of Matrimony, become one flesh in a lifelong covenant of love. The Catechism states, “The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring” (CCC 1601). It is a sacrament that confers grace, enabling couples to love as Christ loves the Church—freely, faithfully, fruitfully, and totally.
Why is married life a vocation? It mirrors the Trinity’s communion of love and Christ’s self-sacrificial union with His Bride, the Church (Eph 5:25-32). Spouses are called to mutual self-gift, fostering holiness in each other and openness to life. Children are a supreme gift, educating them in faith extends the vocation’s fruitfulness. Marriage sanctifies through daily sacrifices—forgiveness, patience, and service—transforming ordinary life into a path to heaven. It witnesses God’s faithful love in a culture of fleeting commitments, building society on stable families.
Discernment is essential to ensure marriage is God’s call, not mere attraction. Couples must reflect on their readiness for lifelong fidelity, openness to children, and shared faith. Prayer, such as through the Rosary or Eucharistic adoration, and premarital preparation reveal if this union will glorify God. Without discernment, challenges may overwhelm; with it, marriage becomes a school of charity, radiating divine love.
Single Life: Dedicated Service in Freedom for the Kingdom
Single life, when embraced as a vocation, is a state of undivided devotion to God without vows of marriage or consecration. The Church acknowledges it as a path to holiness, especially for those not called to other states. As Pope St. John Paul II noted in Familiaris Consortio, the single life allows one to “give oneself for a certain purpose—either in a life of virginity and of apostolic celibacy, or in the sacrifice of one’s solitude” (FC 16). It is lived chastely, often in the world, serving through professional work, apostolate, or care for others.
Why is single life a vocation? It reflects Christ’s own singleness, freeing one for the Kingdom’s urgent demands (Mt 19:12). Singles can dedicate time to prayer, evangelization, and charity without familial obligations, witnessing that fulfillment comes from God alone. It counters self-sufficiency myths, emphasizing communion with the Church family. Many saints, like St. Catherine of Siena (a consecrated virgin, but single in structure), lived this way, offering hidden sacrifices for souls.
Discernment distinguishes temporary singleness from a permanent call. One examines desires for flexibility in service, peace in celibacy, and joy in solitude with God. Prayer and spiritual direction confirm if this state fosters holiness. Without discernment, singleness may feel aimless; with it, it becomes a vibrant witness to eschatological hope.
In all states, discernment is vital because each is a vocation—a divine call to love radically. God invites; we respond in freedom, trusting His grace. No state is superior; all lead to sanctity if lived faithfully. Now, to aid reflection, consider the following questionnaire. Answer honestly, choosing the option that best resonates with your heart.
Vocational Discernment Questionnaire
This set of 60 questions explores aspects of prayer, community, service, relationships, commitment, and sacrifice—common to all states yet specific in expression. Each has four options (A, B, C, D). Reflect prayerfully; there are no right or wrong answers, only insights into your inclinations.
1. When you think about starting your day, what feels most peaceful?
A: Planning the day with someone you love and trust.
B: Following a set routine with others who share your faith values.
C: Deciding freely based on what the day brings to you.
D: Waking up focused on your own goals and comfort.
2. If you could help people in need, how would you like to do it?
A: Joining a group committed to serving others long-term.
B: Through small, loving acts with those closest to you daily.
C: Helping out when it fits your schedule and feels right.
D: Doing small acts of kindness for friends when they need it.
3. How do you feel about close, personal relationships?
A: Building a lifelong, deep connection with one special person.
B: Valuing bonds focused on a shared spiritual purpose.
C: Enjoying a variety of friendships that form naturally over time.
D: Keeping relationships casual to focus on your own plans.
4. What kind of living space sounds ideal?
A: A warm, cozy home centered around family life and love.
B: A shared home with others united by common faith goals.
C: A simple place you can adapt to suit your personal needs.
D: A comfortable space designed for your own enjoyment.
5. When managing money, what approach appeals to you?
A: Planning together with someone for future needs and giving.
B: Sharing resources with a group to support a shared mission.
C: Handling finances on your own while helping others sometimes.
D: Saving money to ensure your own security and happiness.
6. In tough times, what helps you most?
A: Relying on a close partner for support through difficulties.
B: Seeking guidance from trusted leaders in a faith community.
C: Taking time alone to reflect and pray through challenges.
D: Trying to avoid problems to keep life easy and stress-free.
7. How do you like spending time with friends?
A: Inviting friends into warm, family-oriented gatherings.
B: In group activities focused on faith or helping others.
C: Meeting one-on-one or in small, relaxed groups casually.
D: Spending time with friends for fun and light moments.
8. What makes quiet moments special for you?
A: Sharing heartfelt thoughts with someone you love deeply.
B: Structured time set aside for deep, spiritual reflection.
C: Finding peace in personal reflection whenever you need it.
D: Quiet moments don’t feel particularly special to you.
9. Thinking about the future, what excites you?
A: Building a family and watching it grow with love.
B: Contributing to a larger mission through dedicated service.
C: Helping others in ways that fit your personal lifestyle.
D: Focusing on achieving your own dreams and goals.
10. Sharing your faith with others feels best when…
A: It’s lived out quietly through daily life with loved ones.
B: It’s part of a larger, organized effort to spread the Gospel.
C: It happens naturally in everyday conversations anywhere.
D: You keep your faith private and share it rarely.
11. Following rules or advice is easiest when…
A: It’s mutually agreed upon with someone you trust deeply.
B: It comes from respected figures in a faith community.
C: You decide for yourself if the advice fits your path.
D: You prefer to follow your own instincts without rules.
12. Your ideal job would involve…
A: Work that supports those closest to you in life.
B: Tasks that contribute to a greater faith-based mission.
C: Flexible work balancing personal and spiritual interests.
D: A job that helps you achieve your personal ambitions.
13. When facing challenges, you prefer to…
A: Face them alongside loved ones for mutual support.
B: Offer them up as part of a shared spiritual practice.
C: Handle them on your own with faith as your guide.
D: Try to move past challenges quickly with little effort.
14. Simplicity in life means…
A: Prioritizing resources for those you care about most.
B: Letting go of excess to focus on spiritual essentials.
C: Keeping life uncomplicated to maintain personal freedom.
D: Having things that bring you comfort and happiness.
15. Staying in one place or changing feels right if…
A: It benefits those closest to you in life.
B: It’s for a purpose you’re deeply committed to serving.
C: You can adapt to new opportunities as they come.
D: You enjoy change to keep life exciting and varied.
16. Attending Mass is most meaningful…
A: When shared with family sitting by your side.
B: As a regular gathering with a faith-focused group.
C: When you fit it into your personal routine as needed.
D: When you attend occasionally as a personal choice.
17. Forgiving others comes naturally when…
A: It helps strengthen a bond with someone close.
B: It’s encouraged within your community’s values.
C: You take time to reflect on it privately with prayer.
D: You forgive only when others apologize to you first.
18. Welcoming others into your space is fun if…
A: You treat guests like part of your extended family.
B: It involves helping or praying together with purpose.
C: It’s a spontaneous, short visit that feels natural.
D: You prefer keeping your space mostly private.
19. Looking ahead to older years, you imagine…
A: Spending time with descendants, sharing stories.
B: Continuing meaningful work with a committed group.
C: Pursuing personal interests and ongoing service.
D: Relaxing and enjoying a comfortable, restful life.
20. Reading about faith inspires you most with…
A: Teachings about love and building a faithful home.
B: Stories of lives wholly dedicated to faith.
C: Varied books offering insights for personal growth.
D: Short, simple readings that are easy to grasp.
21. Dealing with disagreements works best by…
A: Talking openly with someone you trust deeply.
B: Following a community’s way of resolving issues.
C: Thinking it through independently with prayer.
D: Ignoring conflicts to avoid tension and stress.
22. Being in nature helps you connect to God when…
A: You’re sharing the experience with loved ones.
B: It’s part of a routine for spiritual contemplation.
C: You’re alone on a walk, reflecting quietly.
D: Nature doesn’t inspire your spiritual life much.
23. Moving to a new place would be okay if…
A: It supports the needs of those you love most.
B: It’s decided for a higher, faith-driven reason.
C: It opens new possibilities for your personal growth.
D: You’d rather stay put for comfort and familiarity.
24. Learning or teaching about faith is appealing…
A: When passing it on to those closest to you.
B: In a structured setting with clear guidance.
C: When you explore it at your own pace.
D: When it’s just the basics you need to know.
25. Friendships with the opposite sex feel right as…
A: A deep, exclusive connection with one person.
B: Respectful bonds focused on a shared purpose.
C: Natural, platonic friendships that enrich life.
D: Casual ties that might lead to something romantic.
26. Giving up something for Lent is meaningful…
A: When done together with those you love.
B: As a shared effort with a faith community.
C: When you choose it personally for growth.
D: When it’s simple and doesn’t feel too hard.
27. Church traditions are important because…
A: They help create lasting memories with loved ones.
B: They connect you to a deep spiritual heritage.
C: You follow the ones that resonate with you.
D: They feel optional and not very important.
28. Enjoying art or music lifts your spirit when…
A: It’s shared during celebrations with loved ones.
B: It’s focused on worship and spiritual expression.
C: It brings personal joy and inspiration.
D: It’s just for fun and entertainment.
29. Taking care of health involves…
A: Caring for each other’s health with loved ones.
B: Support from a group living a shared lifestyle.
C: Managing it on your own for personal well-being.
D: Seeing doctors only when you feel it’s necessary.
30. Helping far-away causes appeals if…
A: You support it together with those close to you.
B: It’s part of a dedicated group’s mission.
C: You can volunteer when it suits your schedule.
D: You help by giving small donations sometimes.
31. Planning your time feels good when…
A: It’s balanced to prioritize close relationships.
B: It’s organized around meaningful commitments.
C: You keep it flexible to suit the moment.
D: You don’t plan much and prefer spontaneity.
32. Giving to those in need is best…
A: When decided together with those you love.
B: As part of a group’s collective charity efforts.
C: When you choose how to give on your own.
D: When you give a little when it feels right.
33. Receiving compliments makes you…
A: Happy to share the credit with someone close.
B: Thankful, redirecting praise to a higher purpose.
C: Grateful in a quiet, modest way.
D: Excited to be recognized for your efforts.
34. Reading the Bible daily happens…
A: Together with loved ones at home.
B: In a guided, structured way with others.
C: At your own pace when you feel inspired.
D: Mostly on Sundays or special occasions.
35. Accepting feedback is easier from…
A: A trusted companion you share life with.
B: Respected figures in a faith community.
C: Your own reflection and inner discernment.
D: You don’t like receiving feedback much.
36. Visiting holy places sounds great…
A: As an adventure with those closest to you.
B: With a group on a shared spiritual pilgrimage.
C: As a solo journey for personal peace.
D: Doesn’t sound very appealing to you.
37. Thinking about the end of life brings…
A: Comfort in leaving a legacy with loved ones.
B: Hope in eternal closeness with God.
C: Peace in knowing you’ve fulfilled your purpose.
D: Worry or uncertainty about what comes next.
38. Taking charge appeals in…
A: Guiding those closest to you with love.
B: Roles that serve a faith-based mission.
C: Personal projects that reflect your values.
D: You prefer letting others take the lead.
39. Celebrating holidays is fun…
A: When building traditions with loved ones.
B: When focused on spiritual meaning and faith.
C: When you celebrate in your own unique way.
D: Just for fun, like most people celebrate.
40. Having a guide in faith means…
A: Sharing wisdom with someone you trust.
B: Regular direction from a spiritual mentor.
C: Seeking occasional advice when you need it.
D: You don’t feel you need a faith guide.
41. Handling money day-to-day is…
A: Decided jointly with someone you love.
B: Shared responsibly with a group for a cause.
C: Managed personally with some giving to others.
D: Focused on your own needs and comfort.
42. Caring for the environment feels right…
A: By teaching those close to you to care too.
B: As a shared duty within a faith community.
C: Through your own individual efforts.
D: Not a big priority in your daily life.
43. Going to confession helps when…
A: It’s encouraged by those closest to you.
B: It’s a regular part of your community’s life.
C: You go when you feel ready personally.
D: You go rarely, only when you feel you must.
44. Keeping a journal is for…
A: Recording memories shared with loved ones.
B: Noting spiritual insights for personal growth.
C: Writing personal thoughts and reflections.
D: Not something you’re interested in doing.
45. Traveling would be to…
A: Create memories with those you love.
B: Serve a meaningful purpose or mission.
C: Discover new places and experiences.
D: You’d rather stay home and avoid travel.
46. Laughter in life comes from…
A: Lightening the mood with loved ones.
B: Joyful times shared with a faith community.
C: Moments that uplift your spirit personally.
D: Jokes and humor for fun and entertainment.
47. Adapting to new things is…
A: Easier when it helps those you love.
B: Okay if guided by a higher purpose.
C: Natural and exciting for your growth.
D: Something you find hard and prefer to avoid.
48. Working for justice means…
A: Getting involved together with loved ones.
B: Joining organized efforts for positive change.
C: Taking action in your own personal way.
D: Watching others work for justice instead.
49. Growing in faith involves…
A: Sharing lessons with those closest to you.
B: Deep, structured study of spiritual teachings.
C: Learning at your own pace through exploration.
D: Knowing just the basics feels sufficient.
50. Later in life, you see…
A: Spending quality time with family.
B: Ongoing dedication to a faith-based mission.
C: Continuing to serve in your own way.
D: Taking it easy and enjoying relaxation.
51. Talking with different faiths is…
A: A way to quietly show your faith with loved ones.
B: Part of reaching out for a greater purpose.
C: Enjoyable in casual, friendly conversations.
D: Something you’d rather avoid doing.
52. Staying active physically is for…
A: Fun activities with those you care about.
B: Building discipline within a shared lifestyle.
C: Maintaining your personal health and energy.
D: Not a big focus in your daily life.
53. Praying to Mary feels close…
A: When praying together with loved ones.
B: As part of a devoted, communal practice.
C: When you pray personally in your own way.
D: Only occasionally when you feel moved.
54. Saints inspire you with…
A: Their roles as patrons for family life.
B: Their total commitment to a holy life.
C: Their varied stories of faith and courage.
D: They don’t inspire you very much.
55. When sad, you turn to…
A: The embrace of those closest to you.
B: Support from a faith-based community.
C: Quiet prayer alone to find comfort.
D: Keeping to yourself to deal with sadness.
56. Using tech is for…
A: Staying connected with those you love.
B: Spreading faith and positive messages.
C: Practical tools to enhance your daily life.
D: Mostly for fun and personal entertainment.
57. Making promises means…
A: Promises made to someone you love deeply.
B: Lasting vows tied to a spiritual mission.
C: Personal commitments you choose privately.
D: Avoiding promises to keep things flexible.
58. Beauty in life is seen in…
A: The warmth and love of home life.
B: Moments of worship and spiritual expression.
C: The wonders of the world around you.
D: Appearances and aesthetics that catch your eye.
59. Your impact on others is through…
A: Leaving a legacy through those you love.
B: Contributing to a larger faith-based mission.
C: Your personal actions and unique touch.
D: Not something you think about often.
60. Deep down, fulfillment comes from…
A: Sharing love and life with those closest to you.
B: A deep, intimate union with God above all.
C: Serving freely in ways that feel right to you.
D: Finding joy in everyday pleasures and moments.
Evaluation: Scoring and Interpretation
To evaluate, assign points as follows for each question. This system uses three categories: Consecrated Life (C), Married Life (M), Single Life (S). Points are distributed across options to reflect varying inclinations, with D now contributing points to encourage reflection even for neutral or uncertain responses. Questions are grouped in sets of 10 for scoring patterns.
Scoring Key (by question):
- Questions 1–10: A=3M, B=3C, C=3S, D=1C+1M+1S
- Questions 11–20: A=3M, B=3C, C=3S, D=1S+1M+1C
- Questions 21–30: A=3M, B=3C, C=3S, D=1C+1S+1M
- Questions 31–40: A=3M, B=3C, C=3S, D=1M+1C+1S
- Questions 41–50: A=3M, B=3C, C=3S, D=1S+1C+1M
- Questions 51–60: A=3M, B=3C, C=3S, D=1M+1S+1C
Steps to Evaluate:
- For each question, assign points based on the chosen option (A, B, C, or D) according to the scoring key.
- Tally the total points for C, M, and S separately.
- The highest score indicates a potential inclination toward that state:
- Consecrated Life (C): 120+ out of 180 max suggests a leaning toward consecrated life.
- Married Life (M): 120+ suggests a leaning toward married life.
- Single Life (S): 120+ suggests a leaning toward single life.
- Ties or close scores (e.g., within 10 points) suggest overlapping inclinations, calling for deeper prayer and discernment.
Important Disclaimer: This questionnaire is not a final or decisive tool. It is merely an indicator to spark reflection and prayer. Vocational discernment is a deeply personal journey guided by the Holy Spirit, often requiring years of prayer, sacraments, and accompaniment from a spiritual director. No self-assessment can replace God’s voice in your heart or the Church’s confirmation. Use this as a starting point to think more deeply, pray fervently (perhaps through daily Mass or adoration), and seek guidance. Remember, God’s plan brings peace; trust in His timing.
Why a High Score in Consecrated Life Indicates This Vocation
A high score in consecrated life suggests an attraction to radical self-gift, where one’s entire being is offered to God through vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. This inclination points to a heart yearning for intimate union with Christ, free from worldly attachments, to serve the Church prophetically. In Catholic understanding, such a call echoes Christ’s own life and the early apostles’, fostering holiness through community or solitude while witnessing the Kingdom’s primacy. It indicates readiness for sacrifices that build up the Body of Christ, leading to profound joy in total dependence on divine providence.
Why a High Score in Married Life Indicates This Vocation
A high score in married life reflects a desire for sacramental union, where spouses image Christ’s love for the Church through mutual self-donation, fidelity, and openness to life. This vocation suits those drawn to building a domestic church, sanctifying each other and children amid daily realities. Rooted in Genesis and Ephesians, it reveals God’s Trinitarian love as fruitful communion, calling couples to holiness through forgiveness, service, and evangelization. It signals an invitation to live covenantal love that mirrors divine faithfulness, finding fulfillment in family as a path to eternal union.
Why a High Score in Single Life Indicates This Vocation
A high score in single life points to a call for undivided freedom in serving God’s Kingdom, living chastely in the world without marital or vowed commitments. This state, affirmed by the Church, allows flexible dedication to prayer, apostolate, and charity, witnessing that true fulfillment comes from God alone. Inspired by Christ’s singleness and saints like lay apostles, it emphasizes personal intimacy with God while engaging society. It indicates a vocation of hidden fruitfulness, offering solitude’s sacrifices for others’ salvation and embodying eschatological hope in everyday witness.


Suggestion from experience:
Please pray and take the assessment as some truths may be heavy to bear…
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