When we think of holiness, we often define it as becoming more like Jesus. No matter how many prayers we say, there is no progress in holiness if we do not transform into the likeness of Christ. Yet it is profound to consider that Jesus, though the Son of God, grew up in a human family and almost certainly absorbed many human qualities from his parents. When we look at the Wedding Feast at Cana, we see a portrait of the Blessed Mother filled with virtues that Jesus himself mirrored—virtues that we are called to imitate today.

The Virtue of Uninvited Service

The Gospel notes that “the mother of Jesus was there” at the wedding, whilst Jesus and his disciples had been “invited”. This distinction suggests that Mary was present not merely as a guest, but as a close relative there to help.

Much like neighbours in a village who arrive before a wedding to chop vegetables or arrange chairs without needing a formal invitation, Mary was there because she knew help was needed. She did not wait to be asked, nor did she expect payment or special recognition. Often we wait to be asked before we assist others, perhaps out of pride. Mary teaches us the virtue of proactive service: stepping in simply because we see a need, without waiting for an invitation.

Sacrificing Comfort for the Good of Others

How did Mary know the wine had run out before even the steward knew? It was probably because she was not sitting in the banquet hall enjoying the music and celebration; she was serving in the storeroom.

This reveals a willingness to forgo one’s own entertainment and happiness to be at the service of others. Whilst everyone else was celebrating, she was working. This is a difficult virtue to practise, as we naturally desire our own comfort, but Mary demonstrates the beauty of giving up personal enjoyment for the sake of a family’s well-being.

True Intercession: Doing Our Best, Then Trusting Jesus

When the wine ran out, Mary did not panic, grumble, or become discouraged. She had done her best in the storeroom, but when she encountered a situation beyond her human capacity to resolve, she took the matter to Jesus.

This is the essence of intercession. It does not mean we sit back and do nothing; rather, we work to our utmost capacity, and when we reach our limit, we turn to the Lord. She did not complain that her time was being wasted on a family that couldn’t provide enough wine. Instead, she remained calm and composed, simply presenting the need to her Son.

Conformity to God’s Will in Prayer

Jesus’s initial response to Mary—“Woman, what has this to do with you and me? My hour has not yet come”—might sound negative. Yet Mary was not discouraged. She simply told the servants, “Do whatever he tells you”.

This moment teaches us how to handle apparently negative answers in prayer. Prayer is not merely about getting what we want; it is a struggle to conform our will to the will of the Heavenly Father. Just as Jesus prayed in Gethsemane, “If this cup cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done,” Mary shows us that effectiveness in prayer is not measured by getting our own way, but by aligning our lives to God’s will. When we face silence or apparent refusal, we must look for where we can be more obedient to God’s word.

The Flexibility of Love

The wedding at Cana also highlights a beautiful quality in Jesus: flexibility. Jesus had a plan for when his public ministry would begin (“My hour has not yet come”). He had no doubt prepared and prayed about how to launch his mission, yet when he saw a genuine human need, he adjusted.

Sometimes we become rigid in our decisions, refusing to change even when it would help others. Jesus shows us that being flexible is not a sign of weakness but of love. This was not easy for him; beginning his ministry with this miracle meant moving more quickly toward the Cross, yet he did it for the sake of others.

Obedience “Up to the Brim”

Mary told the servants to obey Jesus, and they filled the stone jars with water “up to the brim”. This detail matters. The servants did not yet know Jesus as a miracle-worker; to them, filling jars with water when wine was needed must have seemed absurd. Yet they obeyed because they trusted Mary. She had been working alongside them, establishing a reputation as a righteous, trustworthy person who would not speak idly.

We must develop a character so consistent and sincere that people trust our words implicitly. Furthermore, the servants’ obedience was total—they filled the jars to the brim. There was no half-hearted effort.

The Cost of Holiness

This total obedience reminds us that holiness costs something. If we want miracles in our lives, we must be willing to pay the price of full obedience.

Consider the story of a young woman who, desiring to be a saint, realised she had to cut off a deep emotional attachment that was hindering her spiritual progress. Though there was no sin involved, the attachment distracted her from God. Severing it caused her tears and deep pain, similar to the merchant in the parable who sold everything to buy the pearl of great price. She realised that to possess something of higher value, one must pay for it; if it does not cost you tears or struggle, you are only picking up what is cheap and freely available. Like the servants filling the jars to the brim, we must be willing to give everything if we desire the wine of God’s grace.

Humility and Silence

Finally, Mary’s conduct after the miracle is a masterclass in humility. The family at the wedding was probably poor, lacking both the quality and quantity of wine required. Mary helped them not for reward, but simply because they were in need.

After the miracle, she did not seek credit. She didn’t say, “Fortunately I was here,” or criticise the steward for his ignorance. Often, when we help others, we are tempted to emphasise our own contribution or discredit those who failed to act. Mary remained silent, protecting the dignity of the steward and the family. She could have stepped forward and claimed popularity as the mother of the miracle-worker, but she chose to remain in the background.

As we reflect on these virtues—uninvited service, sacrifice, trust, total obedience, and humility—we see that every single one of them is also perfectly reflected in Jesus. To imitate Mary is, truly, to become more like Christ.